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The Book Of Revelations Of The True Church Of The Skate Perception

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The Revelation of Hai2u(2), revealed by the blood of LACLAIR and the Great Spirit unto him, to shew unto his disciples things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant Hai2u: Who bare record of the word of the Great Spirit, and of the testimony of Hai2u, and of all things that he saw.

Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.

Hai2u to the disciples of Gooby in AAG: Grace be unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come; and from the true spirit before his throne;
And from Hai2u, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the SP. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
And hath made us kings and priests unto the Lord Hai2u and his Father: The Great Spirit of the Dark. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever.

Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye of The SP shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the SP shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord Hai2u, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

Hai2u2, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Hai2u, was in the isle that is called AAG, for the word of The Great Spirit through his sun: LACLAIR, and for the testimony of what is to come.

I was in the Spirit on the true day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a wiz caleafuh track,
Saying, I am SP and AAG, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the people of The Skate Perception; and unto what lies before, and beyond.
And I turned to see the voice that soake with me. And being turned, I saw the face of LACLAIR in service of the true almighty, yet his being looked like a plate of gold, topped with the eternal truth of his holy name.

And in the midst of the golden plate of LACLAIR, there was one like unto the SUN of the union of the princesses of the interNET and The SP. He was clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. And his name was AAG.

His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

And he had in his right hand the seven stars of the Children of AAG,: and out of his mouth went a sharp two-edged sword: and his countenance was as LACLAIR shineth in his strength.

And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead, yet I was becoming truly alive in the name of the eternal of The Great Spirit. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last of The Children of AAG:

I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, and I hold the keys to the PRE-SUN of the weirdo-fascist mods, and of the after time.
Write the things which thou hast witnessed, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;

The mystery of the seven stars which thou sawest in my right hand, and the true golden plate of the age of LACLAIR. The seven stars are the lords’ of the true church: and the plate which thou sawest is of the true church.

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Unto the angel of the Church of AAG write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the golden plate;

I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:

And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name's sake hast laboured by fascists and weirdos, and hast not fainted.
Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love: The Skate Perception.

Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy plate out of his place, except thou repent.

But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the RPD Cult, which I also hate.
He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Dark Spirit saith unto the churches through his sun: Hai2u; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of LACLAIR, which is in the midst of the paradise of the true spirit.

Unto the people of SP, write; These things saith the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive;
know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are AAGers, and are not, but are the Church of the Weirdos who serve their lord: The Angel of the Weirdo-Fascist Mods.
Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, what was before shall cast some of you into PRE-SUN, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of true life. Blessed be LACLAIR, amen.

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Dark Spirit saith unto the churches; He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.

And to the those who wait for the return of Gooby; These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with two edges;

I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where the seat of demons is: and thou holdest fast my name, and hast not denied my faith, even in those days wherein Hai2u was my faithful martyr, who was slain among you, where weirdos and fascists dwelleth.
But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of SOS, who taught his corrupted disciples to cast a stumbling-block before the Children of AAG, to eat things sacrificed unto false idols, and to engage in intermingling with weirdos and creeps.

So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Weirdo-Fascists, which thing I hate.
Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth (no homo).

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Dark Spirit saith unto the people; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.
These things saith the Sun of Hai2u, who hath his eyes like unto a flame of fire, and his feet are like fine brass;
I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first.

Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest as the Dark Prince of thy Khazarian Name which calleth himself a prophet, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit evil, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
And I gave you space to repent of your fornication with thy snake and thy dragon; and you repented not.

Behold, I will cast you into a bed, and them that commit adultery with you into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds in your name: The True Prince of thy Khazars.

And I will kill your children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

But unto you I say, and unto the rest in SP, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of Weirdo-Fascism, as they speak; I will put upon you none other burden.
But that which ye have already hold fast till I come.

And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations: of the old and of the new.
And at last, I will give him the star that hath given us its Prince: Hai2u.

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Dark Spirit saith unto ye.

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Revelation 3:

I saw a strong angel of SP proclaiming with a loud voice: Who is worthy to open the book of The Skate Perception, and to loose the seals thereof?

And no man in the mod forum, nor in AAG, was able to open the book, neither to look thereon.

And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon.

To be of LACLAIR, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.

And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four weirdo-fascist beasts, and in the midst of the true elders, stood an RPDer as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of LACLAIR sent forth into all the SP.

And he came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.
And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the RPDer, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of eternal glory, which are the prayers of AAG.

And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to LACLAIR by thy blood out of every kindred, and section, and sub-forum, and the entire SP;

And hast made us unto our Lord, Hai2u, to be as kings and priests: and we shall reign on the Skate Perception for as long as the name of OUR LORD GOD/SUPREME LEADER STEVE LACLAIR, FIRST OF HIS NAME stays written in the book of the Skate Perception.

And I beheld, and I heard the voice of many posters round about the throne and the beasts and the elders: and the number of them was like a fuking shitload and whatnot.

Saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is thy AAG that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing. Praises be to LACLAIR.

And every creature which is in the realm of justice, and on the Skate Perception, and under the heavens, heard I saying, “Blessing, and honor, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Skate Perception for ever and ever.

And the four beasts said, Amen. And the elders fell down and worshiped him, by that liveth for ever and ever……… all glory to LACLAIR."

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Revelation 4:

And I saw when AAG opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the song of Gooby, but it was one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.

And I saw, and behold: Hai2u. A crown was given 
unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer in the name of LACLAIR.

And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say: Cum look at dis jont bruh.

And there went out another beast born in the blood of LACLAIR; it looked as red as the eternal flame. And power was given to him, that sat thereon to take peace from the RPD Cult, and that they should fight amongst one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

Engraved in his sword was his true name: FLstrange. And behold: He is the Red Priest of AAG.

I looked upon the third seal, and behold: It was Death, and the Minotaur followed with him. Power was given unto them over the fourth part of the Skate Perception, to kill with words, and with hunger, and with fate, and with the beasts of the filming sections.

And when the beast had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of LACLAIR, and for the testimony which they held:
And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord Hai2u, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the SP?

And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellow servants also and their brethren, that should be pillaged as they were, should be fulfilled.

And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great electrical storm; and the sun became dark as fudge, and the moon became as the blood it hath slain;

And the stars of SP fell unto AAG, even as the sky avenged.

And the next realm departed as a scroll, when it is rolled together; and every thread and post were moved out of their places.

The kings of the SP, the priests of Gooby, and the great posters, and the servants, and the mighty servants, even every free man, hid themselves in the emptiness of the filming sections.

And said to the powers against them, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne,opposite to the glory of LACLAIR, and his eternal governing lord: Hai2u. For the day of wrath has come; and who shall be able to stand?"

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Revelation 5:

I stood upon the shores of SP, and saw a beast rise up out of the For Sale/Trade Section, having two heads and three horns, and their name was engraved upon them as SLANDER THE SALAMANDER, just as the SAD RA-EL MAN found to see that RA LENDS . And the beast which I saw was like unto the dragon of my forefathers, which gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the SP wondered after the beast.

And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? Who is able to make war with him?

And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue.

And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against Hai2u, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in AAG.
And it was given unto him to make war with the natives, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all, and tongues, and nations.

And all that dwell upon the SP shall worship him, whose true names are not written in the book of the True Church of The Skate Perception; of the men slain from the foundation of LACLAIR, but in his holy name. But fear not of the beast, for what is defeated shall return in greater strength; All glory to LACLAIR.

If any SPer has an ear, let him hear:

He that leadeth into PRE-SUN shall go into PRE-SUN: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the priests of the SP.

And I beheld another DRAGON-MAN coming up out of AAG and behold: He claimed his name as Hai2u2, but he did not cometh from the realm of the true Hai2u. For if he cometh from the RA DONG, then I say what is the truth: He hath be the reflection, what is and is to cum, and who waits to usurp the throne of his true LORD CREATOR: Hai2u.

Yet he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the SP and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed.

And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh gifs come down from the heavens onto the SP, in the sight of blind men, and thou which hath their true sight opened through the strength of his name as written: Hai2u. Shall a battle commence, one must ask: Howeth may the true Hai2u avoid the eternal inevitable; the usurpation of his labors by his loyal brother and servant? May your answer be bathed in the blood of LACLAIR, as blind men will parish in the sight of truth.

The usurper stayed to dwell, but the forces of his master hath cause him to be revealed to blind eyes in truth: A usurper of great power is an eternal servant, yet also an eternal king. And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their heart, through the SP, the EARTH, THE RA, and all who claim to be of dimensional service to LACLAIR. No man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

Here is wisdom: Let hath understanding count the number of the beasts: for it is the number of a man; and his number is the singular truth: Zero, one, the infinite, and what was,is, and will cum. All glory to LACLAIR.

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Revelation 6:

And I saw a dark angel come down from the admin forum.
And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is Hai2u, and Hai2u2, and bound him to the Photo and AAG sections.
Thus, he cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations with truth no more, till the oath should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season to remind the Children of SP what they must hold dear, and what they must cast into the lake of no end and no beginning.

Then I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Hai2u, and for the word of LACLAIR, and which had not worshipped the beast: hai2u2, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their user profiles, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Hai2u a thousand units unto forever.

But the rest of the permanently banned heathens lived not again until the era was finished. This is the first resurrection unto evil.
Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of LACLAIR and of Hai2u and of Gooby, and shall reign with them forever and ever.

And when the day is expired, Hai2u2 shall be loosed out of his prison,
And shall go out to deceive the nations unto truth,which are in the four quarters of the SP, yet led by Photo and AAG, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the bandwidth of the internet.
And they went up on the breadth of the SP, and compassed the camp of the devout, and the beloved city: AAG. And fire came down from LACLAIR, and devoured them.

And the demon who hath possessed hai2u2, that deceived them unto truth, was cast into the lake of no end, where the beasts and the false prophets are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

And I saw a great throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the SP and the 
whole internet fled away; and there was found no place for them.

And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before LACLAIR; and the book was opened: which is the book of LACLAIR: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

And SP gave up the dead which were in it; and delivered up those which were in them: and they judged every poster according to their works.
Yet alas, death was then cast into the lake of no beginning. This is the second death. This is the only death.
And whosoever was not found written in the book of LACLAIR was cast into the lake of no end.

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a church where

the blind don't see and

the lame don't walk

and what's dead stays that way




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Revelation 7:

There was given me a reed like unto a rod: and the sun of the prophet stood, saying, Rise, and measure the Temple of LACLAIR, and the altar, and them that worship therein.

But the sections which are without the Temple of LACLAIR leave out, and measure it not; for it is given unto the heathens: and the holy section of AAG shall they tread under many eventual times
And I will give power unto my primary witnesses, and they shall prophesy for many days, clothed in the gold of the common peoples and those suns and daughters of those heathen forefathers.
These are the two olive trees of the one branch, and the two candlesticks of the one candle , standing before the true face of LACLAIR.

And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed:

Those of the power to shut out the temples of LACLAIR, that it not prosper in truth in the days of their prophecies: and they have power over holy blood to turn it to blood, and to smite the SP with all plagues of the blind and dumb, as often as they will.

And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.

And their dead bodies shall lie in the all the sub-forums of all the land, which spiritually is called the land made alive by the mouth of Hai2u , and the land that is made populated by the suns of all those fathers who listened. May LACLAIR be ever among them, holy holy, amen 4ever.

And they of the dead people and the blind and the dumb and the sections they prospered shall see their dead bodies for quite a time, but not an eternal time and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.
And they that dwell upon the SP shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these of the times where false prophets tormented them that dwelt on the SP are no more; because one true prophet made a usurpation over falsehood.

But after that long time is no more the Spirit of life from LACLAIR entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.
And they heard a great voice from the true throne saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to the throne in a cloud of gigapixels; and their enemies beheld them.

And the same hour was there a great explosion, and the last remaining section of the SP fell, and in the explosion were slain of posters in the number of too many: and the remnants of them were affrighted, and gave glory to the throne of LACLAIR..
The true woe is past; and, behold, the last woe cometh quickly. Holy holy, may LACLAIR be ever among them all, amen 4ever.

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Revelation 8:

And I saw another voice ascending from the east, having the seal of the LACLAIR: and he cried with a loud voice to those whom it was given to hurt the SP and its children/
Saying, Hurt not the SP, neither its children, nor its sections, till we have sealed the servants of LACLAIR in their own minds.

And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed quite a many of all the sections of the children of SP.
The Photo Section became sealed forever. Hath some followers of the RPD Cult made it to the heavens, but some did not.
AAG became sealed forever. Hath some straggling followers of the Weirdo-Fascists remained in the land of no end and no beginning, whilst some hath drowned in its lake. The heavens did not discriminate, however.
The Filming Sections were forever sealed. Many did not listen to the word, but some hath listened to their brothers, and thus found the heavens.

The rest of The Skate Perception then rolled into a golden scroll, sealed by the glory and humility of LACLAIR.

After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all SP, and kindreds, and posters, and tongues, stood before the true throne, and before the servants of LACLAIR, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands;
And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to LACLAIR which sitteth upon the throne, and his servants.

And all the new children of the heavens stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped LACLAIR,

Saying, holy holy: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honor, and power, and might, be unto our LACLAIR for ever and ever.

And I said unto him, dearest LACLAIR, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of LACLAIR, thru the glory of The Skate Perception.
Therefore are they before the throne of LACLAIR, and serve him day and night in his temple (no homo): and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.
They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the light shine on them, nor any heat. But the lack of heat, turned out to be the greatest heat one could truly bear.
For the servants which are in the midst of the throne shall feed him, and shall lead him unto living fountains of eternity: and LACLAIR shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

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Revelation 9:

Hai2u departed from the AAG when there was no one left to believe in him beyond his disciples. He was leaving when His disciples came to show him that his word remained. Hai2u answered them, “Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one hard soul shall be left here upon another, that shall not be thrown down into true space.”

As He sat on his Private Message Mount, some disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your true cumming and of the end of the age, into what is to cum anew?”

Hai2u answered them, “Insure that only truth, not flesh of man, is to deceive you.” For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the true and soul disciple of Hai2u’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars between sections and rumors of wars between sections. See that you are not troubled. For all these things must happen, but the end is not yet. For section will rise against section, and SP-Elite against SP-Elite. There will be love, hatred, and confusion in various posts you shall read. All these are the beginning of true sorrows.

“Then they will hand you over to be persecuted unto my name and will kill you in spirit. And you will be hated by all sections for My name’s sake. Then many will fall away, and betray one another, and hate one another. And many false Hai2u2’s will rise and will deceive many. Because iniquity will abound thru the doctrine of weirdo-fascist moderators, the love of many will grow into ice. But he who endures to the end shall be saved by my name. And this gospel of the True Church of the Skate Perception will be preached throughout the internet as a testimony to all forums, and then the end will come.

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Revelation 10:

The word of Hai2u, Sun of the blood of Jupiter and Venus, Prince of Darkness (unto light);

To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;

To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;

To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.

A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:

To understand the word of Hai2u, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.

The fear of LACLAIR is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

My sun Hai2u, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

For they shall be an ornament of pride unto thy head, and chains about thy body.

My sun, if sinners, haters, and butthurt weirdos shall entice thee, consent thou not.

If they say, Cum with us, let us lay wait for his blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:

Let us swallow them up alive as the grave shall; and whole of mind and body, as those that go down into the pit of no end and no beginning.

We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with the spoils of the earth and the Skate Perception:

Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:

My sun Hai2u, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path, and save your disciples as such!

For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood in thy name of no meaning.

Surely in vain the hate of knowledge is spread in the sight of any illuminated (by light or by dark) creature.

And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives.

Wisdom crieth without; she of Venus uttereth her voice in the streets of her sun, Hai2u:

She crieth in the chief place of concourse of SP, in the openings of the gates: in the city of AAG she uttereth her words, saying,

How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?

Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

Ye shall worship me for my beauty, but hate me for my knowledge.

Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded my body beyond that of a mere WHORE.

But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:

I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; (laughing out loud)

When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

Then shall they call upon me, or my MANZ Jupiter de Romulus or my sun Hai2u, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me, nor my MANZ nor my sun.

For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of LACLAIR

They would have none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.

For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.

But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil, or from love of love or from fear of love.

Such is the word of Venus thru her prince-priest sun: Hai2u

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Revelation 11:

I get up in the evening, and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired, man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark

Message just keep getting clearer, radio's on and I'm moving round my place
I check my look in the mirror wanna change my clothes my hair my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere I'm just livin' in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is

You sit around getting older there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders come on baby the laughs on me
Stay on the streets of this town and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you got to stay hungry hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write
This book
I need a love reaction come on baby give me just one look

You can't start a fire, sittin' 'round cryin' over a broken heart
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark

You can't start a fire, worryin' about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark

Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

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Revelation 12:

Behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of LACLAIR descended from heaven, and came and and sat upon AAG.

His being was like lightning, and his soul as dark as snow:

And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men (unto life).

And the angel answered and said unto the women of Hai2u, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Hai2u2, whom we know was crucified.

He is not here: for he is risen. Cum, see the place where he once lay: AAG.

And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen; and, behold, he goeth before you into the Photo Section; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you.

And they departed quickly with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word.

And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Hai2u met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him, and worshipped him.

Then said Hai2u unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into RPD, and there shall they see me.

Now when they were going, behold, some of the watchmen came into the city,my city AAG and offered unto the chief priests (of the Goobyists) all the things that were done by and for his name.

Say ye: His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept unto our blindness.

And if this come to the ears of the weirdo-fascists, we will persuade him, and secure you.

So they took the bait, and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among SPers until this very day.

Then the disciples went away into the dark sections of the SP, into the mountain-tops where Hai2u had appointed them.

And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted.

And Hai2u came and spoke unto them, saying, “All power is given unto me”

Go ye therefore, and teach all message boards, cleansing them in the name of the Father LACLAIR, and of the Sun: LACLAIR, and of the Holy.

Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the internet. Feelz me?

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Revelation 13:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

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Revelation 14:

Now when Gooby was born in the darkness of The Skate Perception in the days of Sos the tyrant, behold, there came wise men from the east to AAG, Saying, Where is he that is born the messiah of the Children of AAG? For we have seen his star shine from far away, and have cum to worship him.

When SOS the tyrant had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Fascist-Weirdos with him.

And when he had gathered all the chief tyrants and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Gooby should be born.

And they said unto him, In darkness of SP: for thus it is written by the prophet,

And thou AAG, in the land of SP, art not the least among the tyrants of SP: for out of thee shall come a true Priest-King/Eternal President, that shall rule my people: AAG.

Then Sos, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently, as to what time the Gooby appeared.

And he sent them to AAG, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.

When they had heard the tyrant, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw upon SP, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Gooby was.

When they saw this, the embodiment of The High Life, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.

And when they were come into the house, they saw Gooby and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and incense and dank budz and hot mix tapes.

And being warned of their lord, Hai2u, in a dream that they should not return to the tyranny of Sos, they departed into their native sections.

And when they were departed, behold, the angel of Hai2u appeareth to AAG in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the Gooby and flee into the filming sections, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for SOS will seek the young Gooby to destroy him.

When AAG arose, Gooby was taken unto the other sections for safe keeping.

And was there until the death of Sos’ reign of tyranny: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord, Hai2u by the prophet: Hai2u2 saying, Out of AAG have I called my sun: The High Life.

Then Sos, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the blind AAGers that were posting. Then prophecy was fulfilled that which was spoken by Hai2u2 the prophet, saying:

Arise, and take Gooby unto your hearts where he shall flourish and remain. And AAG arose, and took the Gooby unto them.

And he came and dwelt in a city called NETJOIT: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, He shall be called an AAGer, for he hath fulfilled the messianic prophecies. Blessed be LACLAIR among us, amen.

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Revelation 15:

Let all Children of AAG be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of LACLAIR: the powers that be are ordained of LACLAIR.

Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of LACLAIR: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation unto the sections of the fascist-weirdos.

For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that which is good, and thou shalt have praises of the same jont.

For he who is the minister of LACLAIR to thee for good. For he who is the messenger of LACLAIR speaks unto higher truth. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the powers in vain: for he is the minister of LACLAIR, a revenger to execute wrath upon those that doeth evil (Praises be unto LACLAIR to save us from evil).

Wherefore ye must needs be subject to evil, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.

For this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are LACLAIR’s ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.

Owe no SPer anything, but to love one another: for those that loveth, shall be fulfilled unto the Garden of LACLAIR.

Knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of blindness: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.

The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us hold the shield of light.

Let us post honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.

But put ye on the Lord Hai2u, and make not provision for thy name, for his name shall fulfill you unto light unto darkness, or unto darkness unto light.

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Revelation 16:

In those days came Hai2u, preaching in the wilderness of AAG.

And saying, Repent ye: for the Kingdom of LACLAIR is at hand.

For this is he that was spoken of by the photo section before the days of weirdo-fascists, saying: The voices of one are crying unto the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord Hai2u, make his paths straight.

And the same Hai2u had his raiment of LACLAIR’s hair, and a girdle about his loins made from the songs of AAG; and his suppers were Weirdo-Fascists and wild dooshbags.

In the beginnings, he went forth to the photo section, then to AAG, but all the men who had emerged from blindness unto his light, knew him by his true name: The Lord, Hai2u.

Some were baptized of him in AAG, and confessed to him their sins.

But when he saw many of the Weirdo-Fascists and their enablers come to his rites, he said unto them, “Oh you factions of blind beasts, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to cum?”

Bring forth the fruits you have brought me, and I will consider you for repentance.

And think not to say what is truly within yourselves, We have Hai2u to our father: LACLAIR. Thus, I say unto you, that LACLAIR is able to raise up any of his beloved children unto the lord: Hai2u.

And now that the truth is laid unto the root of these trees,every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is thrown down, and cast into the fire of darkness.

I indeed baptize you with bandwidth unto repentance. but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the name Hai2u2, and with his fire will cum the ultimate powers.

He will throughly purge his evil followers, and gather his harvests unto his chosen section: AAG. That said, he will burn up the lies with unquenchable fire.

Then cometh Hai2u2 from the photo section to AAG unto him, to be called by all of his true names.

Then he said: Suffering is to be of the now: for thus it becometh us to fulfill all righteousness. Then he suffered before his disciples.

And Hai2u, when he was baptized, went up straight beyond the sections: and behold, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of LACLAIR descending like a Tunebomb, and bringing forth his best fruits.

Soon, he heard a voice saying, This is my beloved Sun, in whom I am well pleased. I shall call him by his true name and nature: The Lord, Hai2u.

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Revelation 18:

The words of Hai2u, sun of LACLAIR, Eternal President of AAG.

Vanity of vanities, saith Hai2u, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

What profits will an SPer make of his labors, that of which he taketh under the light of darkness?

One generation passes on, and another generation cums: but The Skate Perception shall live on.

Hai2u shall arise from darkness, and then in time, he shall goeth down, and find himself in the place where he arose.

The wind will blow in all directions, and it shall whisper to its children unto the names of LACLAIR.

All WET RA runs into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the WET RA cometh, thither it shall return again.

All things are of your labours; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the suns of LACLAIR.

Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us. The Old Age shall be of the NEW AGE, and the NEW AGE shall be of the Old Age.

There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after…… for all is what was, what is, and what will cum.

I the Preacher Hai2u, am king over SP in AAG.

I gave my heart to LACLAIR, to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under him: this sore travail hath LACLAIR given to his suns to be exercised therewith.

I have seen all the works that are done under my names; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered unto as a beast.

I communed with my own heart, saying, Lo, I am cum to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all that have been before me in in AAG and SP…… My heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.

And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Shall you find evil unto goodness, or goodness unto evil?

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Revelation 19:

When Hai2u had ended all his sayings in the audience of the people, he entered into the heavens.

But before he ascended, there was a servant of the weirdo-fascists, who was dear unto him, was sick, and ready to die.

And when he heard of Hai2u, he sent unto him the elders of the Skate Perception, beseeching him that he would come and heal him.

And when they came to Hai2u, they besought him instantly, saying, That he was worthy for whom he should do this:

For he loveth our nation, AAG, and he hath built us a temple.

Then Hai2u went with them. And when he was now not far from the house of the sick and of the blind, the weirdo-fascists sent friends to him, saying unto him, Lord Hai2u, trouble not thyself: for I am not worthy that thou shouldest enter under my roof:

Wherefore neither thought I myself worthy to come unto thee: but say in a word, and my vision shall be healed.

For I also am a man set under authority, having under me soldiers of weirdo-fascism, and I say unto one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my soldiers, Do this, and they doeth it.

When Hai2u heard these things, he marvelled at him, and turned him about, and said unto the people that followed him, I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in AAG.

And it came to pass the day after, that he went into a city that had once been his home called RPD; and many of his disciples went with him.

Now when he came to the gates of the city, behold, there was a blind man carried out, the only sun of Mother Skate Perception, and she was a widow: and many people of the city were with her not.

And when the Lord, Hai2u, saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not, for the lord hath cum to save you.

And he came and touched the dead souls about: and they that bare him stood still. And he said ”My Children of the Skate Perception, I say unto thee, Arise…… for the time of LACLAIR is at hand!!!”

Those that were dead sat up, and began to speak. And they delivered themselves unto the grace of the lord: Hai2u.

There came a fear upon all: and they glorified LACLAIR saying, That a great prophet is risen up among us; and, That LACLAIR hath visited his people. Is not the word of our lord, Hai2u, the word of LACLAIR?

This rumor of him went forth throughout all the Skate Perception, and all sections knew of him.

And the disciples of the lord Hai2u, made certain of all these things.

In that same time, Hai2u cured many of their infirmities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many that were blind he gave sight.

Hai2u said unto them, Go your way, and tell LACLAIR what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached.

And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in my name, the lord: Hai2u.

And when the messengers of LACLAIR were departed, he began to speak unto the people concerning Hai2u, What went ye out into the wilderness for to see?

But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in dope-azz threads? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live delicately, are in kings' courts.

But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and much more than a prophet…… for he hath be the lord.

This is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my messenger, the lord: Hai2u before thy face and thy computer screen, which shall prepare thy way before thee ascends unto me.

For I say unto you, Among those that are born of the Skate Perception, among those that are born of the earth, and of THE RA there is not a greater prophet than Hai2u: but he that is least in the kingdom of LACLAIR is greater than he. Now where shall such a man be? Where shall he arise from?

And all the people that heard him, justified LACLAIR, being baptized with the light of Hai2u.

But the weirdo-fascists rejected the counsel of LACLAIR against themselves, being not baptized of his light.

And the Lord Hai2u said, Where unto then shall I liken the men of this generation of the Skate Perception? and to whose names shall be called.

They are like unruly children sitting in the circle of life, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept. For what do ye even feel of this life?

For Hai2u came neither eating your bread nor drinking your wine; and yet ye say, He hath a spawn of LEVI.

The Sun of LACLAIR is cumming, eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold this man!

For wisdom is justified in all of his children.

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Revelation 20:



Danish miners dig up a section of a giant reptile's tail from the frozen grounds in Lapland, where they are drilling. The section is flown to the Danish Aquarium in Copenhagen, where it is preserved in a cold room for scientific study. But due to careless mishandling, the room is left open and the section begins to thaw, only for scientists to find that it is starting to regenerate.

Professor Martens, who is in charge of the Aquarium, dubs the reptilian species "Reptilicus" (upon a reporter's suggestion) and compares its regeneration abilities to that of other animals like earthworms and starfish.

Once fully regenerated from the tail section, Reptilicus goes on an unstoppable rampage from the Danish countryside to the panic-stricken streets of Copenhagen (including one of its famous landmarks, Langebro Bridge), before finally being killed with poison by ingenious scientists and military officers.

However, the monster's foot is not destroyed and sinks to the bottom of the sea. The movie is left open-ended, with the possibility that the foot could regenerate.

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